Let me just start off by saying that being apart from someone that you love so much is hard... But it's even harder when they write you and tell you that you can only be friends... But that's not where it stops. It gets even harder when you find out that you can't email them and you have to write them to tell them that emailing has to stop... Even if that means not hearing from them often or even at all... South America has an unreliable mailing system, not to mention stamps are expensive. None of this gets easier with people telling you that there's a possibility that he could meet a sister missionary while he's gone... Yeah, ok, you get it. It hasn't been easy these past two months. In fact, there have been times when I didn't feel that I could take it anymore.
But if there's one thing that I've learned it's that my Heavenly Father would never give me any challenge that he didn't know I was strong enough to overcome. Not to mention he aids me in getting through whatever challenges come into my life by placing tender mercies for me along the way.
All of these struggles have made me realize a few things... One, anything worth having is worth waiting for, fighting for, and never giving up on. Yeah, with the circumstances that I have the world would tell me it's a hopeless cause... That it will never work out. Good thing we are taught to disregard the thoughts that the world tries to feed to us. I know that if this is God's will that Kevin and I end up together... Then it will happen. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind. Another thing I have realized... There will always be people or things that act as "challenges" to overcome. Whether these challenges are people who are being negative towards you or your missionary, or the world telling you no, you can't do it, this is impossible... Or even physical barriers such as an unreliable mailing system. These challenges will always be present. Not only in the specific circumstances but in life in general. We were placed on this earth knowing that it was a test... We all knew that it wouldn't be easy. Especially in times such as now when the world is becoming increasingly more wicked. However, one of the final more dominant realizations that I came to was that our Heavenly Father cares for us more than we can comprehend and will never leave us alone as long as we allow him to be present in our lives. It's so important to at times of struggle and perhaps suffering to instead of turning away from God as the world might tell us to do, to turn to Him. Run into his arms and pour your soul out to Him. He knows exactly what we are feeling. He sent his son, our Savior, Jesus Christ to atone for our sins. He has already felt every emotion that we've ever had, paid the price for our sins, and mourned and suffered through every pain and trial that we have and ever will experience. He wants to be there for us, to comfort and guide us. He wants us to be happy and to feel loved. Always. Of this I testify because I have felt His love and His hand in my life.
I just want to say that these past few months have in no way been easy for me. They've been some of the hardest months that I think I have ever experienced. However, they have truly made me more mature, understanding, compassionate, and strong. I know that I was chosen to face these struggles because I need them. I need to experience them and grow with every struggle that might come from these 24 months. I am nervous... But I am ready.
I know that Heavenly Father has a perfect and complete plan for me. I know that I can do this. I know that His plans for me are what will make me the happiest that I can be here on earth.
To anyone who may be reading this, stay strong, keep your head up, and keep moving forward. Things won't be easy, but they'll be worth it. Hold to the rod, and never be afraid to ask for help because your plea will never be rejected.
<3
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