Updates!

Elder Baldwin is now officially out of the MTC and serving as a full time missionary in Lima, Peru! From what I have heard he is loving it! The people are kind, his surroundings are beautiful, and he is experiencing something new and amazing every day!

However... With every mission comes those little road bumps. Kev got sick from most likely eating or drinking something funky. :( Poor guy! He couldn't even go out with his companion for a while because of how sick he was. Luckily he is feeling better and out and about again! I also heard that he forgot his pin number and the machine ate his card! Uh oh... And then a few days later it happened to his companion too?! Double uh oh. Hopefully that all got worked out too though. :)

In a letter to his family Kevin explained that he gets called a "Gringo" a lot... Which is a name for a "white guy" down in South America! HAHA. He also talked about how he gets hit on a lot! Apparently the peruvian ladies think he is quite the stud! Hmm... They must have excellent taste in men. Hahaha! I better watch out. ;) No but... His family said it was pretty funny to hear about! Apparently Kevin didn't quite understand what was happening when he was being hit on in a bus... So he just kindly went along with it... I can assume probably just nodding his head and smiling. Hahaha. :) His companion who I believe is a native had to explain to him afterwards what had just gone on. Kevin's spanish is good, but there's still work to be done on it!

Unfortunately I haven't gotten letters in a little over a month because of how much more inconvenient it is with him being so far away. It's about $1.10 to send a letter, and no guarantees that it will even reach whoever you're sending mail to. I have sent three letters so far, so fingers crossed they all get to him! I'm sure it's also hard for him to write since he is so busy... Which I am glad that he is. :) He's focused and ready to serve! Woohoo. :)

Everyone is so proud of him. He is and will continue to do great things. :)

Trust In the Lord

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and he shall direct thy paths." -Proverbs 3:5-6

Let me just start off by saying that being apart from someone that you love so much is hard... But it's even harder when they write you and tell you that you can only be friends... But that's not where it stops. It gets even harder when you find out that you can't email them and you have to write them to tell them that emailing has to stop... Even if that means not hearing from them often or even at all... South America has an unreliable mailing system, not to mention stamps are expensive. None of this gets easier with people telling you that there's a possibility that he could meet a sister missionary while he's gone... Yeah, ok, you get it. It hasn't been easy these past two months. In fact, there have been times when I didn't feel that I could take it anymore.

But if there's one thing that I've learned it's that my Heavenly Father would never give me any challenge that he didn't know I was strong enough to overcome. Not to mention he aids me in getting through whatever challenges come into my life by placing tender mercies for me along the way. 

All of these struggles have made me realize a few things... One, anything worth having is worth waiting for, fighting for, and never giving up on. Yeah, with the circumstances that I have the world would tell me it's a hopeless cause... That it will never work out. Good thing we are taught to disregard the thoughts that the world tries to feed to us. I know that if this is God's will that Kevin and I end up together... Then it will happen. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind. Another thing I have realized... There will always be people or things that act as "challenges" to overcome. Whether these challenges are people who are being negative towards you or your missionary, or the world telling you no, you can't do it, this is impossible... Or even physical barriers such as an unreliable mailing system. These challenges will always be present. Not only in the specific circumstances but in life in general. We were placed on this earth knowing that it was a test... We all knew that it wouldn't be easy. Especially in times such as now when the world is becoming increasingly more wicked. However, one of the final more dominant realizations that I came to was that our Heavenly Father cares for us more than we can comprehend and will never leave us alone as long as we allow him to be present in our lives. It's so important to at times of struggle and perhaps suffering to instead of turning away from God as the world might tell us to do, to turn to Him. Run into his arms and pour your soul out to Him. He knows exactly what we are feeling. He sent his son, our Savior, Jesus Christ to atone for our sins. He has already felt every emotion that we've ever had, paid the price for our sins, and mourned and suffered through every pain and trial that we have and ever will experience. He wants to be there for us, to comfort and guide us. He wants us to be happy and to feel loved. Always. Of this I testify because I have felt His love and His hand in my life. 

I just want to say that these past few months have in no way been easy for me. They've been some of the hardest months that I think I have ever experienced. However, they have truly made me more mature, understanding, compassionate, and strong. I know that I was chosen to face these struggles because I need them. I need to experience them and grow with every struggle that might come from these 24 months. I am nervous... But I am ready. 

I know that Heavenly Father has a perfect and complete plan for me. I know that I can do this. I know that His plans for me are what will make me the happiest that I can be here on earth. 

To anyone who may be reading this, stay strong, keep your head up, and keep moving forward. Things won't be easy, but they'll be worth it. Hold to the rod, and never be afraid to ask for help because your plea will never be rejected. 

<3

God Gave Me You

"God gave me you for the ups and downs, God gave me you for the days of doubt." -Blake Shelton

Today i was at a youth fireside and they were talking about missionary work during parts of it... We watched a video of a bunch of young women who hiked 15 miles to get to the temple... This really touched me because they were willing to walk so far to get to the place where they knew they wanted to be... There were girls who had special needs, girls who were injured, etc. It was very touching to see them all working together to reach their goal... When they got there they all said that they knew that the temple was where they HAD to be... Nothing else made them happier.

Throughout this whole video I was just thinking about Kev. I was thinking about how he was serving the Lord and how he was bringing people the gospel... And how they would then be able to experience the blessings of the temple. I was also thinking about how I also know that the temple is somewhere I always want to be worthy of being. I want to be married in the temple and I would be the luckiest girl on earth to experience that with Kev. :) I know that whatever is meant to be will be.

I have been listening to the song "God Gave Me You" as well today... I have replayed it at least 10 times. Whenever I hear this song I just feel grateful that God gave me Kevin. I know that I was blessed to have him come into my life... And God really did give me Kevin so that we could share the happiness of good days, and also so that he could help me through my harder ones. God blessed me with someone who would help me through all of my doubts and push away my fears.

I am so grateful for Kevin because he has truly been my best friend and support... and it's days like today when I am especially humbled and realize that I have God to thank for everything.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlwysjDZ4c8

Lock Your Heart

"LOCK YOUR HEARTS and leave the key at home!" -Spencer W. Kimball

The quote above comes from a talk by Spencer W. Kimball about missionary work. I found this talk because my friend Felicia Campbell showed Kevin and I before he left. The talk focuses on the fact that missionaries should be focused solely on Christ and emulating his will. President Kimball proceeds to share of some unfortunate incidents where missionaries were opening up to things not of Christ, were sent home, and even excommunicated. 

As you know, this week I was "written off" and it was a very hard and confusing situation for me. I was in a bad place and I was in need of comfort and enlightenment. Well, just goes to show that when we pray to God he will always hear and answer us; I received exactly what I needed.

Elder Baldwin was able to write me and tell me exactly what I needed to hear. He apologized profusely for not explaining properly beforehand and gave clarification as to what he had meant with the previous letter. He explained to me, and referred back to this talk, that he was "locking his heart" but that he was giving me the key. He told me that this key was mine, and mine alone, to keep safe until he got home from serving his 2 years. He continued to explain that he loved me, missed me, and wanted a future with  me, but that all of that would have to be set on the back burner until he was home... This way he could focus solely on the Lord and his mission. 

Not only was this exactly what I needed to hear, but it made me so proud of him! This truly showed me what an amazing man Kevin is. He has grown so much in just the short time he has been out and I know he will continue to progress in leaps and bounds. I am truly so blessed with such an amazing man who loves and willingly serves the Lord. 

I will keep the key to his heart safe, and I will be the support he needs on this two year mission of his. :)

I will also leave the link to the talk so that anyone who wants to read it will be able to. It's a great talk, and it has blessed both Kevin and I.

http://missionaryhelper.com/talks/lockheart.html

Keep Your Head Up.

"When life gets too hard to stand, kneel." -President Gordon B. Hinckley

This week has proven to be difficult... However, whenever I feel down I just remember this quote given by former Prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley.

This week I received one of the hardest letters I've ever had to read from Kevin... In this letter Kevin wrote me off.

Now, I know that this sounds bad and you may be thinking "well how could he?!" but he has good intentions. In the letter Kevin very kindly and genuinely explained that he was having trouble focusing and that he just needed to not have a girlfriend right now. He also expressed his concerns of "holding me back." Although this letter was hard to read, and I felt hurt... I know that he loves me and cares about me still. I can't imagine being a missionary and having to deal with such huge life adjustments so I tried to be supportive and understanding. I sent him a letter saying that I can understand where he's coming from, but also asked him to pray and make sure that this was his will and God's, and not someone else's. I have also been praying fervently and have had other amazingly wonderful people praying for me, and have felt some peace and comfort come over me.

I honestly do still believe that Kevin is the man for me. With every challenge that we have ever faced, we always just come out stronger; which is another reason I only want to be with him... We are able to not only make it through, but come out improved and stronger, things that are designed to tear people apart. I know that Kev is trying to be the best missionary he possibly can be, and I admire him for it. I know with all of my heart that this is not the end of our story. I know that we have much more to experience together, and I know that I can still give him my full support.

Part of loving someone is putting their needs before your own... Because their happiness essentially becomes your own.

I know that everything will work out as planned, and that this is just another thing that we must face. I know that no matter how alone or weak I may feel, that I am truly never ever alone and that God makes weak things into strong things.

Through Christ all things are possible. Take comfort in that, and never forget it.

<3

The Bridge Builder

This week in one of Kevin's letters he sent me some of his notes. On these notes were some things he found touching... Including a poem called "The Bridge Builder" by Will Allen Dromgoole. Kev then proceeded to ask me to ponder this poem and tell him what I thought of... As you read through this poem, I would encourage you to ponder it as well and interpret it for yourself.

After reading through this poem a couple of times I came up with my own personal interpretation and was able to share my thoughts with Kevin. Here is the excerpt from the letter I wrote him regarding this beautiful poem.

An old man going a lone highway,

Came, at the evening cold and gray,

To a chasm vast and deep and wide.

Through which was flowing a sullen tide

The old man crossed in the twilight dim,

The sullen stream had no fear for him;

But he turned when safe on the other side

And built a bridge to span the tide.

“Old man,” said a fellow pilgrim near,

“You are wasting your strength with building here;

Your journey will end with the ending day,

You never again will pass this way;

You’ve crossed the chasm, deep and wide,

Why build this bridge at evening tide?”

The builder lifted his old gray head;

“Good friend, in the path I have come,” he said,

“There followed after me to-day

A youth whose feet must pass this way.

This chasm that has been as naught to me

To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be;

He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;

Good friend, I am building this bridge for him!”

"So I re-read the poem you sent me called "The Bridge Builder" and I started to tear up! I just really pondered it and I have figured out what it means.. At least to me. This poem is about pure love and charity. The old man to me was representative of Christ and how even though he was perfect and could have gone through his life without making that huge sacrifice for us, he did it anyways. He built that bridge for us. The bridge that he built was the atonement... Our way back to Heavenly Father; which means that we represent the youth that the old man is building the bridge for. Even though Christ could have easily made it back to Heavenly Father without suffering all of the pains that he did, he made that sacrifice, as the old man did in the poem, so that we could all make it back. After I thought of this, I realized that although Christ has made that bridge for us to cross... We must first find the bridge in order to get across it. You are now part of that process. You are sacrificing your time, giving of your love and knowledge, and you are helping God's children make it across that bridge that he has built for us. Kev... You are so important. Thank you so much for sharing this poem with me. It means so much to me now, and it truly was a blessing for me; not only just today, but every day. It shares such an important message, and is also very relevant seeing as it is the Christmas season. :)"

It is amazing how blessings come to us at times of need... Kevin obviously for some reason felt inspired to share these notes with me even if he didn't know why. Well, I have been having an extra hard week, and this is exactly what I needed. Just goes to show that the Lord knows each and every one of us personally and will never leave us feeling alone. He is always watching over us and blessing us whenever we allow him too.

Merry Christmas everyone, remember to keep the CHRIST in Christmas. :)

It's an Emotional Rollercoaster.

"I am alone here in my own mind. There is no map and there is no road. It is one of a kind just as yours is." -Unknown

Ok, so one thing I've learned is that throughout these two years I will have my ups and downs. Emotions run high and never seem to stay constant. Some days I feel like I am on top of the world; like no one can bring me down. Other days I feel almost hopeless; discouraged and alone. However, on days like this one thing you must remember is that you are NEVER alone. Let me repeat myself... You. Are. Never. Alone. No matter how bad things get, or how lonely you feel... Just remember, the Lord is always with you. He will never leave you unless YOU choose to shut him out. I rely on my friends and family for support... But relying on the Savior is absolutely essential to make it through this crazy ride. There will be days when people come up to you and tell you that you won't make it... Tell you that it's hopeless and that you are a fool to wait around. It's discouraging, rude, and completely un-necessary! But listen, don't let those people or their hurtful words define you! Do NOT let those comments work their way into your thoughts... Because if you dwell on negative comments such as these, it will only tear you down. Focus on those who will build you up and act as a support group. There are several groups on facebook that you can request to be added into that have TONS of girls who are in the same situation who will be there to lift you up when you are struggling! These are the types of people to surround yourself with. These are the people who will become some of your best friends... Which brings up another subject... Friends.

You may find that some of your friends are not actually as good as you may have thought. I have gone through this experience and it's definitely a struggle! It's hard to watch those who you thought would support you fall away. It's hard to feel like you're losing some of the foundation that you had thought was so firm. It's hard to think that those people who said that they would be there for you, are not. But, even though it's upsetting and hard, just remember... When something doesn't work out it's just God's way of telling you that there is something better to come! :) I needed to know who my true friends were and this experience definitely helped me to figure it out... And although I had to distance myself from some of those "friends", at the same time I was growing closer to others. People who understood me, or even just tried to understand me. People who weren't judge-mental and who cared to be there for me, to listen to me, and to love me. These are the people who are worth spending your time with. These are the people to keep close on this two year journey. With these reliable friends, a loving family, and a merciful and loving Heavenly Father... I promise you. You will not fail.

So updates!!
Kevin was supposed to leave for the Lima, Peru MTC on the 18th of November, however his Visa didn't come in time so he will not be leaving until sometime early January. This means he will be spending Christmas in the MTC. He won't be able to call his family, but he will have an amazing and wonderful opportunity to listen to some general authorities speak and to meet them! I'm sure it will be an uplifting and inspiring experience that I can't wait to hear about! It's my third week and I have received three 6 page long letters! Yep, he sure is good at writing meaningful letters. :) In each letter he updates me on how he is doing, and also makes sure to remind me that he loves me! This is such a comfort, and it helps me get through those days that just seem impossible! It's like he knows just when I need to hear from him... :) His P-Day is on Monday so I always get my letters on Thursdays! It's such an awesome thing to look forward to, and they always bless and comfort me! Not to mention that it puts me on cloud 9! His letters never fail to make me smile and even cry! (Don't worry, they're happy tears:) Letters are still, and always will be, such a blessing. I plan on sending Kevin a letter soon that has my testimony written in it; both in spanish and english. I would love to share my testimony here as well.


"Sé que sin dudas de que mi Padre Celestial me ama. Yo sé que por medio su amor y el sacrificio de su Hijo Jesucristo, que puedo regresar a estar con él de nuevo algún día. Él me ha bendecidos con la don del Espíritu Santo, y yo sé que si seguimos las impresiones que me han dado por medio del Espíritu Santo que voy a crear una vida llena de alegría y amor. Sé que si me dedico a Cristo que nunca fallará. Él tiene un plan completo y perfecto hecho sólo para mí, y si voy a vivir de una manera que le permita dirigir mis caminos, entraré a encontrar la felicidad más allá de comparar. Yo sé que si yo confío en el Señor, él hará mis debilidades en fortalezas y él nunca me dejes caer. Yo sé que él me va a bendecir con talento y amor para compartir con sus hijos, muchos de los que están tratando de encontrar el Evangelio, y al gusto de su amor eterno. Me encanta este evangelio, y estoy muy agradecido por ello.

Soy un mormón, me encanta, lo vivo."

"I know without any doubts that my Heavenly Father loves me. I know that through his love and the sacrifice of His son Jesus Christ that I can return to be with him again someday. He has blessed me with the gift of the Holy Ghost, and I know that if I follow the promptings given to me through the Holy Ghost that I will create a life filled with joy and love. I know that if I devote myself to Christ that I will never fail. He has a complete and perfect plan made just for me, and if I will live in a way that will allow him to direct my paths, I will come to find happiness beyond compare. I know that if I rely on the Lord, he will make my weaknesses into strengths and he will never let me fall. I know that he will bless me with talents and love to share with his many children who are seeking to find the gospel, and to taste of his love eternal. I love this gospel, and I am so grateful for it. 

I'm a mormon, I love it, I live it."

Be strong. :)